VICTORVILLE, CA — Most crime experts will tell you that criminals are not, generally, the smartest part of any given society. It makes sense — who wants to risk their freedom to make a buck?
Well, this would-be robber from California decided to reinforce the dumb criminal stereotype.
That’s right. Just one. No need to over-indulge. He’s trying to cut back, really. Just need that extra one to help get me though the day, sir.
When the store clerk said what everyone else on the planet knows — that he couldn’t sell a single cigarette, the thug pulled out and brandished a handgun.
Now, before we go on, let’s pause and think about this for a second.
One of three things happened.
- This guy thought he was being really clever in asking for a cigarette as a way to communicate to the worker that he was an honest customer. “Don’t mind me, just going to ask for the oddest quantity of cigarettes imaginable.”
- This guy went in armed — maybe going to rob the place. But the inability of the clerk to sell a single cigarette made him so mad that there was no choice to pull a gun!
- Asking for a single cigarette was a trend the thug was trying to set in a series of successful robberies he was going to pull — “The Lone Cigarette Bandit.” It sounds ludicrous, but it’s only slightly dumber than the first two.
His demeanor quickly changed when the clerk also pulled a firearm. He ran like hell, pausing only to put a shot in the store’s front window… ’cause reasons.
No one was injured by this idiot, thankfully.
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