The day I had to use my gun in self-defense

There were two key reasons as to why I broke down once the officer came over. The first being this; whether or not this young man was down the wrong path in life, I watched him die in front of my eyes. It was an emotional experience because at the moment he knew he wasn’t going to make it, I saw him as just like any other person. A son. A father perhaps. The second and more important reason was; what if, when my firearm jammed, he simply shot at me again instead of walking over to me first? I may not be here right now because I choked and delayed when I had the malfunction. A few seconds more and I’d surly be dead. Why did I allow him to get so close? What could I have done to prevent that from happening? Have I not trained enough? Why was I having difficulty with clearing my firearm? I’ve done it many many times during drills.

This was a dream that I woke up from just a few nights ago. It was a dream that needed to happen. We train for situations such as this one, but how many times do we follow through with an entire scenario? I mean, from start to finish. All the way. So many variables can take place.

Not only should we be practicing at the range on a regular basis and practicing things such as clearing malfunctions and defensive strategies, we should also be playing different scenarios out from start to finish in our minds. We should throw variables in from time to time and decide what we would do if that situation ever arose. This is preparedness.

While we can never be 100% prepared for everything that may happen, taking the extra time to go through these steps can only benefit us if the need arises. I learned a lesson from this dream, and that lesson will stick with me moving forward.