ONALASKA, WI — A Wisconsin man’s food bender ended with a standoff at gunpoint when one very, very high individual decided to raid the kitchen of a responsibly-armed homeowner.
31-year-old Kenneth Fish found himself on the wrong end of a gun when he loomed in the doorway of a bedroom, waking up the female occupant, who in turn woke her husband, according to the La Crosse Tribune.
Her husband grabbed a gun.
Fish was detained by the homeowners until police arrived.
What the intruder had stolen was, well, straight-up weird.
“Fish was holding one of the couple’s energy drinks and had one of their lighters in his pockets, according to the complaint. He told them he believed he was at his friend’s home in West Salem.”
“The occupants later discovered Fish had eaten an entire rack of ribs, half a chicken breast, a pickle and some cookies. They noted he had put his dirty dishes in the sink.”
Yeah. That’s one weird burglar.
I’m sure that it will not surprise you to know that this young man had a long list of convictions prior to this little incident, at least one drug charge being among them.
Now, as much as I appreciate a courteous burglar — and I do appreciate a courteous burglar — it’s a little bit less than a miracle this dummy managed to avoid getting himself shot in his food-grabbing rampage.
He was almost certainly high off of his gourd, and he might well have not meant harm to anyone other than the residents of the refrigerator, but there’s no way for the homeowners to know that — especially when he so creepily stood in the bedroom doorway.
Hopefully, which paying off his debt to society, this man will receive the help he really, clearly, needs.
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