Attention: This Is Not A Typo; Armed Robber Sues Pizzeria That He Robbed

Yet again, here is a perfect example of an article heading that I thought I’d never have to write. Hopefully a judge will simply throw out this ridiculous lawsuit.

Nigel Sykes robbed a pizzeria a few years ago while armed with a gun. He forced his way into the shop via the back door, but was quickly taken down by employees. He was tackled and wrestled to the ground, and apparently punched and kicked a few times.

In his self-written complaint, Sykes admits, “I committed a robbery at Seasons Pizza” on Maryland Ave. on Nov. 30, 2010, just before 8 p.m. He admits he “displayed” a handgun and that an employee – a delivery driver and one of the named defendants – “handed me $140.”

He says he then started to make his way forward in the store when a different employee grabbed him from behind and other employees wrestled the gun from him, with at least one shot being fired during the struggle.

“That is when the assault began,” according to Sykes’ suit. “All of the Season’s Pizza employees participated in punching, kicking and pouring hot soup over my body. I was unarmed and defenseless and had to suffer a brutal beating by all of the employees of Seasons Pizza,” he wrote, adding the beating knocked him unconscious.

[ad location=”Posts – Middle Post”]His first account of the crime in 2011 was that he was forced by someone to rob the pizzeria. Actually, he says that he was first robbed himself at gunpoint, then the gunman gave him a gun and told him to go rob the pizzeria. Ok buddy.

Long story short, he is requesting $20,000 from each of the six employees involved in his “beating”, $20,000 from each of the two arresting officers, and another $100,000 from the pizzeria.