Armed Suspect Dum Dum Accidentally Shoots Himself Twice In The Groin During Robbery Attempt

SOUTH SALT LAKE, UTAH — A 24-year-old suspect apparently wasn’t paying attention while he was trying to get his firearm to commit an armed robbery.

According to a press release, the suspect walked into the store while his friend, 34-year-old Preston Bennett, waited outside.

Police said the suspect, who has not been identified, bought cupcakes and a drink, then told the cashier he had forgotten something and walked to the back of the store.

“The clerk started to help the next customer in line when he heard a gunshot and the victim ran out of the store,” the press release said.

This brilliant guy was found by police in the parking lot with two gunshots to his groin area, and he wouldn’t fess up to how he received the injuries. We all know now it’s because he’s an idiot.

The unidentified suspect was taken to the hospital and is said to be listed in critical condition.

Lucky for the store clerk and anyone else in the store, this genius was able to do everyone a favor by taking himself out before committing the crime. For that, we thank you.