Becoming A Firearm Owner, Part 3: My Wife
Maybe you, or someone you know is considering becoming a gun owner for the first time. I very recently started to consider the idea of owning a firearm for home defense and personal protection. Over the course of these few articles, I will share my journey – the initial event that sparked my desire to own a gun, decisions I had to wrestle with, discussions I had with my wife, and the outcome of my process. Check out the first two articles in this series to find out how my story starts. My hope is that my story may help you, or a friend who is in the same boat.
Part 3 – My Wife
News of yet another shooting and more victims had caused me to ask myself what I would do if faced with a similar situation. I had made the decision that it was time to arm myself. My wife, on the other hand, was not with me on this. We had some serious talking to do.
Given the ever-growing danger in the world around us, I knew that I needed a more substantial tool with which to defend my family and myself. A golf club next to the bed was no longer enough – not that it ever truly was. I was ready to purchase a gun. My wife, on the other hand, having no prior exposure to guns, was not ready to give me the green light on buying a gun. I had already made up my mind that, even though I was strongly in favor of purchasing a firearm, I wouldn’t pull the trigger (pun intended) until my wife agreed. This would be a team decision.
When I could sense my wife was open to talking, I would bring up the topic. If discussions ever got tense, or I could tell she was uncomfortable, I backed-off and gave her time to process. I’m not saying this is the only way to talk through gun-ownership with a spouse or partner who isn’t onboard, but it was effective for me, and my wife expressed a great deal of appreciation that I didn’t push her.
Along the way, I could tell she was growing accustomed to the idea that a gun might be a useful defense tool because she started to ask questions like:
- Where would you store a gun?
- What about ammunition? Shouldn’t that be stored separately from a gun?
- How will you be sure the kids can’t access the gun?
- Are you going to carry a gun with you everywhere?
- What would you do with a gun if someone broke in to the house?
- Shouldn’t we just get an alarm system?
I answered each and every question with the care, consideration and honesty my wife deserves. I didn’t always give her the answers she wanted to hear, but I was honest. I explained my plan for safe storage of a firearm, having ammunition readily available for defense purposes, my plans to one day introduce our boys to guns, and more. At times I could tell she was uncomfortable, so I moved on to the next topic, knowing she’d come back when she was ready. These are just a few of the questions you and your spouse or partner should discuss if you are considering becoming a first-time gun owner.
Eventually, she told me she had given gun ownership a lot of thought and she had come to a decision. Stay tuned to find out what happened…